The Desires of Our Hearts
Sometimes, it can be confusing as we seek God for the path He has for us while continuing to place our requests before him. God does not always grant the desires of our hearts. We learn that we can count on the desires that HE places within us being fulfilled. Those of us walking with our Lord and serving Him as best we can soon must deal with Him concerning the desires of our hearts.
But what are we to do with the many desires we have, for others and for ourselves, that we take to the Lord in hopes of a positive answer? How are we to understand spiritually what His desires for us really are and the mysteries of the responses we receive? Psalms 37 beautifully guides us:
“Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He will do it.” Psalms 37:3-5 NASB
Trust, delight, commit. That is the formula. When first reading this, perhaps as beginning “babes in Christ,” we think we can ask our Lord anything and He will grant it. We delight in being able to go to Jesus with all of our requests. This is as it should be! He made the way for us to be in a relationship with our very loving Father who delights in our communion. We are to come to Him as little children would, in complete trust and faith.
This is how we learn to trust and delight in our Lord and commit all our ways to Him. Jesus Christ made the way for us to talk with our Father by spirit. Our Lord is continually interceding for us in our battles and experiences, being in constant communion with His Father about us:
“Wherefore he is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by him, seeing He ever liveth to make intercession for them.” Hebrews 7:25 KJV
Looking back on our lives, we see His hand in the interests we have, the choices we’ve made, even when we thought it was our idea! He creates each of us with certain purposes in mind, planting desires in our hearts to fulfill His will. As we mature on our walk with the Lord, however, we realize that His desires vary from ours, that God’s answer to even the deepest desires of our hearts is not always yes. He loves us and He is faithful to answer but it may be: “Yes.” Or “No.” Or “Wait.” Or “I have a better idea.”
Yes!
When we hear God saying yes to something we most desire, it may seem easier to handle than the rest of His possible answers—but perhaps not. Some of us hesitate to fully embrace the “yes” we had hoped and pleaded for God to grant us. We fear that it is too good to be true! God does give us good things according to His purposes. But it can be a bit daunting to trust that it is HIS voice saying yes rather than our own strong desire and will to hear that affirmative answer.
When we have been waiting, if we have had misery and loss, God may need to teach us how to receive with thanksgiving and joy, how to be happy and trust this wonderful affirmative answer to our heart’s desires. God has many ways to confirm and reassure us, including “putting out a fleece,” as Gideon did when desiring to be sure of God’s direction. Many Christians have similarly “put out a fleece,” asking God for a sign of confirmation that it is Him and He is saying our desires are granted. He knows we do this to be certain of His word or direction and He knows we need that above all else.
In the Old Testament, Gideon was very cautious and concerned when he heard God say he was called to defeat the enemies of his people. The desire to defeat their oppressors had burned in the Israelites’ hearts since they were captured. In Gideon’s day, the Midianites had ruled the Israelites for seven years. God told them that this defeat was because of their disobedience in worshipping idols. Not unlike others called by God for an unexpected and very important purpose, Gideon did not think he was eligible or qualified for this calling. He never dreamed God would choose him to lead the charge.
Gideon’s first response was to tell God immediately why he wasn’t the one for the job. Though he desired a victory over their enemies, he felt ill-equipped, based upon who he was, a person of no stature in the eyes of others. Gideon joins many others through the centuries in waiting and searching for God to give victory when oppressed. Think of the prayers the people had prayed, all of those seven years, for God to deliver them. When it was time, God chose Gideon, calling him a “mighty warrior “ when he was no such thing. Here’s Gideon’s story, told in this NIV version in a way that sounds like how we might in similar situations:
“The angel of the Lord came and sat down under the oak in Ophrah that belonged to Joash the Abiezrite, where his son Gideon was threshing wheat in a winepress to keep it from the Midianites. When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, ‘The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.’
‘Pardon me, my lord,’ Gideon replied, “but if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our ancestors told us about when they said, ‘Did not the Lord bring us up out of Egypt?’ But now the Lord has abandoned us and given us into the hand of Midian.’
The Lord turned to him and said, ‘Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?’
“Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the weakest in my family. The Lord answered, ‘I will be with you, and you will strike down all the Midianites, leaving none alive.’” Judges 6:11-23 NIV
This is a classic “Who, me?”response to God calling us. Isn’t that just like many of us when we first hear from God about a very critical matter that we had no idea He wanted us to be dealing with, let alone leading the charge?! This is especially true when He drops something into your spirit that you had never considered doing. God begins to speak to us about doing something new, something not in our awareness at all. Perhaps it is something we have long desired but have lost hope it would ever happen, just as with Gideon and his fellow Israelites.
Gideon was a nobody and he certainly did not view himself as a mighty warrior! God told Gideon he would succeed because God Himself was sending him. It did not matter what his external rank and qualifications were. We may feel ill-equipped to do God’s job, just as Gideon did, but that matters not to God. All Gideon needed was to know God was with him and was sending him. Gideon respectfully replies to the Lord’s messenger with his doubts and concerns. He needs more time and confirmation.
God was not surprised, as He knew what was in Gideon’s heart. Gideon did not just accept that it was God talking to him. He knew that Gideon would need more assurance from the Lord to believe and obey. He needed proof beyond what he heard the angel, this Messenger of God, say to him:
“Gideon replied, ‘If now I have found favor in your eyes, give me a sign that it is really you talking to me. Please do not go away until I come back and bring my offering and set it before you.’ And the Lord said, ‘I will wait until you return.’
Gideon went inside, prepared a young goat, and from an ephah of flour he made bread without yeast. Putting the meat in a basket and its broth in a pot, he brought them out and offered them to him under the oak.
The angel of God said to him, ‘Take the meat and the unleavened bread, place them on this rock, and pour out the broth.” And Gideon did so. Then the angel of the Lord touched the meat and the unleavened bread with the tip of the staff that was in his hand. Fire flared from the rock, consuming the meat and the bread. And the angel of the Lord disappeared.
When Gideon realized that it was the angel of the Lord, he exclaimed, ‘Alas, Sovereign Lord! I have seen the angel of the Lord face to face!’ But the Lord said to him, ‘Peace! Do not be afraid. You are not going to die.’ So Gideon built an altar to the Lord there and called it The Lord Is Peace.” Judges 6:36-40 NIV
After Gideon’s offering is consumed, he is finally assured that it is the Lord speaking to him. The Spirit of the Lord came upon him and he blew a trumpet to gather others to join him in fighting the Midianites. Why would the people listen to him, this lowest of the tribe of Manasseh, not known for their leadership? Obviously, God was with him or they would not have heard his call to war as a message from God.
Later, he asks God for one more sign of confirmation, to be sure he understands the task and its promised outcome of victory. After all, this was a life and death situation and the Israelites had not seen a victory for some time:
“Gideon said to God, ‘If you will save Israel by my hand as you have promised, look, I will place a wool fleece on the threshing floor. If there is dew only on the fleece and all the ground is dry, then I will know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you said.’
And that is what happened. Gideon rose early the next day; he squeezed the fleece and wrung out the dew—a bowlful of water.
Then Gideon said to God, ‘Do not be angry with me. Let me make just one more request. Allow me one more test with the fleece, but this time make the fleece dry and let the ground be covered with dew.’
That night God did so. Only the fleece was dry; all the ground was covered with dew.” Judges 6:36-40 NIV
As the story continues in Judges Chapter 7, we read how God directs Gideon’s every step, even showing him how to successfully spy on the enemy by listening in on their plans. God tells Gideon exactly how to bring about a successful attack and reduces the number of Gideon’s army to 300 men. Who but God would reduce the number in His army?! He directs Gideon to choose only those who drank water while still scanning the area for their enemy. Is this not symbolic of the balance we are to have, drinking the water of the spirit while staying alert for the enemy of our souls?
It’s doubtful that Gideon could think or imagine all that God would do through his obedience. He had to repeatedly hear the promise of victory from God. But think of the joy the Israelites had in this great victory for which they had waited so long. We may think or imagine what the Lord will do, but His reality is so much better! When HE says we are mighty warriors, He makes us into just that! He makes the timid strong and the weak able to lead others to victory.
God does talk to His people, even now. He still directs our paths in very specific ways as we learn to listen and to desire His will above all. God is the best strategist there is, whether it is how to fight the enemy in times of war, or with anyone or anything else that comes against us. It may be our professional or personal opponents, our enemies without and within stealing our peace, love, and joy. He has the weapons of warfare that we require by the spirit for every single plan we must undertake.
When faced with a new task, big or small, God knows the best steps for success in what He calls us to do. He knows how to fulfill His will in us. Some of His own people might be quite surprised at just how specific can be His answers. After all, He is invested in our success. Like with Gideon, He assures us of victory in many things before we even do them. He can choose to act without people, but that is not His way. He gives us the great honor, privilege, and responsibility to carry out His will in many matters, big and small, that impact lives on this earth.
Not everyone has conversations with the Lord, but He knows how to communicate His desires and plans to each of us when we have willing hearts. As we are ready and willing to hear His will, to set aside our own will, we can count on the Lord to do His part in communicating to us. After all, doesn’t He want us to know His will? When our hearts are as open as possible, we will hear what He is saying. And when we have heard the affirmation that our request has been granted, we ask His direction in proceeding or wait patiently until this most important desire is fulfilled as a reality.
No!
What about when the answer is no? When He firmly shuts the door on something we so wanted and thought we required, it can lead to quite a struggle. We may not have the maturity necessary to immediately lay down what we want and surrender to Him. We may protest in anger and disappointment, searching for “why not?” We may go further in trying to persuade Him, just as a child who hears “no” does. Even we adults cry and get depressed when we hear this answer from God.
We may start to hear the enemy’s lies: “See, the Lord does not really love you. You are not good enough for Him to grant what your heart longs for. He can’t really do that anyway.” Even worse, we may diminish what God is capable of doing, despite His multitude of promises and blessings. Gideon had seen much defeat, so his first reply sounds accusatory: “So what have you done for us lately? I heard about your past great works but I haven’t seen them!” Then, as now, many of us have heard much more about past great miracles that seem much less common now.
Years ago, a wonderful minister, Rev. Emil Boktor, was visiting our fellowship from Egypt. He asked us what miracles we had experienced since his last visit to America. When we had no examples, he shared many with us and gently but pointedly stated that, in Egypt, they need miracles and therefore, they get them. Indeed, Christians in Egypt have been much oppressed, learning to rely on God’s miraculous provision for their daily needs. In America most do not face the same suffering, so many of us do not require miracles of God to live.
Some explain away disappointment and evil by stating that God has just left us to our own devices and has no power to change things. Because we do not understand Him or His ways, we use our human reasoning to conclude that He’s a loving but powerless God who cannot intervene. There’s a book that takes this approach as a way to explain why bad things happen to good people. This is no comfort to someone who believes in an all-powerful God who can do anything. Reducing God to our understanding is of little assistance when believers seek to comprehend and accept God’s decisions.
Check out Job’s afflictions and the hollow comfort of His friends. They said, among other things, that it was his fault that he lost everything. He maintained that it was God with whom He had to deal. He never once blamed satan or turned to any other power to understand what had befallen Him. God, in turn, dealt with Job’s complaints as well as the ineffective counsel given by his friends:
“Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind and said: ‘Who is this who obscures My counsel by words without knowledge? Now brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall inform Me. Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?
Tell Me, if you understand. Who fixed its measurements? Surely you know! Or who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its foundations set, or who laid its cornerstone, while the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy?’” Job 38:1-7 Berean
God goes on to remind Job of Who He is and all He has done since the beginning of time that Job, or any man, could not possibly understand. All through Job chapters 38, 39 and 40, God chastises Job for questioning His ways and contending with the Almighty. He lists all that He has created and accomplished, far beyond anything humans can comprehend. Job’s wise response is to humble himself before the Lord:
“Then Job answered the LORD: ‘Behold, I am insignificant. How can I reply to You? I place my hand over my mouth. I have spoken once, but I have no answer—twice, but I have nothing to add.’” Job 40:3-5 Berean
God goes on through more chapters to remind Job and his friends of His mighty power and majesty. All of these things are far, far beyond Job’s understanding in making his complaints to God. God challenges Job:
“Will you really annul my justice? Would you condemn Me to justify yourself?” Job 40:8 Berean
Our human reasoning does just that! We malign God’s character as well as His promises when His acts do not fit with our understanding of justice and fair treatment. Remember, Job did nothing to deserve what happened to him. God said Job was righteous and allowed all of these calamities to befall him as a test. It certainly does not sound like justice to wipe out every blessing Job had, especially since God Himself said he was a good man. It is just so in this life.
Much of what God allows to happen to us is not of our own doing. It is a consequence of living in this sin-filled world. Humans have choices and some of them bring harm to believers as well as unbelievers. Job is not the only one of God’s servants to go down this path. When we use our carnal minds instead of the holy spirit to understand what’s happening, we justify ourselves about what happens to us. We may join Job in assuming we know what is happening and even that God is wrong in what He’s allowed.
When our hearts are bruised and weary with overwhelming loss and pain, we pull God down to our level. We justify ourselves as innocent, undeserving, treated unfairly, or God as less than Who He is. We forget that Jesus was innocent, undeserving, treated unfairly, allowing the worst to happen because of Father God’s purposes. This becomes a lonely place because the God of all comfort is the One who allows these things to happen. It’s difficult to go to someone for comfort thinking they could have changed the outcome.
Eventually, we must humble ourselves and yield completely, confessing that we do not understand His ways, just as Job did:
“I know that You can do all things and that no plan of Yours can be thwarted. You asked, ‘Who is this who conceals My counsel without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know.
You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak. I will question you, and you shall inform Me.’ My ears had heard of You, but now my eyes have seen You. Therefore I retract my words, and I repent in dust and ashes.” Job 42:2-6 Berean
Job truly sees God, repenting and changing his mind before Almighty God. The contrast between what little he and his friends know and all that God is becomes glaringly apparent. He is the God of the universe, this Lord with whom we have to deal. God is a master at humbling us when we need to be humbled. Often it is in the privacy of our conversations with Him, but occasionally it happens in the presence of others.
After Job was humbled, God chastised Job’s friends for not speaking the truth about Him. Unlike Job, they did not speak accurately about God and His ways with Job. Their well-meaning attempts to help their friend led to speaking from their own reasoning, not God’s truth. We need more than an eternity to understand God!
“O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments, and His ways past finding out! For who hath known the mind of the Lord? or who hath been His counsellor?
Or who hath first given to Him, and it shall be recompensed unto Him again? For of Him, and through Him, and to Him, are all things: to Whom be glory forever. Amen.” Romans 11:33-36 KJV
So, as with Job, we are wise to yield, to surrender, regardless of our limited understanding. We need to say, as Jesus did in Gethsemane, “Not my will but Yours be done.” The more quickly we surrender our will to what God is saying and doing, the more quickly our wayward emotions will come in line with that surrender. Our submitted will is like an anchor we can hold on to when our thoughts and emotions buffet us in the matter. It begins to sink in that God Himself is in charge of every aspect of our lives. Other people cannot overrule what He allows to come and buffet us.
As we wrestle with acceptance, resisting surrender, we find ourselves in a battle we cannot win. Anything that we resist just grows stronger, prolonging our suffering. With our resistance, we are focusing on what we want that He is denying or has taken away, whether big or small. Our self-focus and desires grow stronger as we hold on, rather than surrender to the refusal God has given as our answer. If it is within our power to proceed without God’s blessing in the matter, when we think we know better than God, we definitely will suffer, as many Biblical examples reveal.
When Christians take matters into their own hands, there are lessons but not good endings. We learn the lessons of God the hard way, which some strong-willed people seem to require. And we all can be strong-willed in desires we determined to have fulfilled, seeing them as essential. We may not count ourselves among the “strong-willed” but remember, this is about the deepest desires of our hearts. God has just said “No” to what we most desperately want. When we insist on pursuing the desires of our hearts that He is not endorsing, we bring pain and sorrow to ourselves and others.
Most of us have gone this way at some point or another, but the sooner and more completely we yield to God’s NO, the more quickly He is able to remove that desire from our hearts so it no longer plagues us. So many seem not to realize that God cares about EVERY aspect of our lives. He is able to direct the desires of our hearts in the path He has chosen for us. More specifically, He not only works a surrender to and acceptance of His will, but we learn to trust that He does know best for us, far beyond what we desire.
This is how we are learning to trust, then delight, then commit our ways to Him. He is able to turn a resisting heart into a willing heart:
“…for it is God who is at work in you, both to desire and to work for His good pleasure.” Philippians 2:13
Wait!
Sometimes when we are considering an action or a choice, seeking an answer, God’s reply to “Wait” launches another growth process. Learning to wait with patience, to postpone gratification, brings more refinement of our spiritual character. He is working the gold of His nature into our hearts, developing the fruit of the spirit within us through the refinement of being in God’s waiting room. In God’s waiting room, we can wait with resentment or fear or wait with patience and peace, learning to trust in faith.
Self-control when waiting for God to deal with some issue in our lives, particularly something we strongly desire, is one of life’s most essential lessons. There are short videos on social media of little children being tested by having to wait a few minutes for a treat. Parents put candy in front of their child(ren), telling them they cannot eat it until they get back in a few minutes. While the camera is on these little ones, they struggle to obey, to wait for their treat.
Some successfully pass the test of waiting, whether patiently or not. Most have at least a little struggle, picking up the candy to look at it or smell it. Others don’t bother to struggle, stuffing the candy in their mouths as soon as their parents are gone. It’s cute to see these little ones and their contrasting reactions, even between siblings. But it is not so cute when the child who so easily yields to temptation becomes older.
For some of these children, self-control issues will arise unless they have further growth and practice in self-control and delayed gratification. Then it is no longer cute but problematic and brings future adversity. We have so much immediately available to us in our modern society, these qualities are not being well-developed for many of us. Some of us adults are still asking the Lord to strengthen our self-control, an essential fruit of the spirit in our lives.
We have this struggle in our own childhoods and in raising our children. Whatever is forbidden, whatever is not allowed that others have, seems to increase the desire to have it. Many of us have limited or denied our children certain unhealthy choices, only to find they are learning ways to get them elsewhere. We had not allowed sweets for our son in the first few years of his life. Years later we learned from our backyard neighbors that little Chris had been showing up at their door, asking for a cookie. Of course, they gave this cute little guy a cookie when he asked! This was not too dangerous but other things we forbid our children to have or do certainly are.
Sadly, it is not just children who have such battles. Many of us Christians feel exactly this way about the rules and limits we believe God has put in our path, including seeking out “cookies” when we know it is not the best for us! This is even witnessed with cultural differences in what is godly and what is not. A wonderful evangelist friend, Rev. Wes Shannon, shared this example with us to illustrate the point. He was ministering in a country where wine was routinely consumed at meals. He represented a denomination that forbade the use of alcohol. He had carefully explained this to his hosts prior to his arrival so they would not be offended when he refused the mealtime wine.
Meanwhile, his hosts, knowing he was an American, had stocked up on coffee just for him. After they got more comfortable with each other, his hosts admitted that they were shocked at his overconsumption of coffee. They regarded this behavior as less than ideal, a sign of being overindulgent. Wes had refused to drink wine with them in honor of his beliefs, but had offended them anyway! Wine at meals was a perfectly acceptable behavior in their Christian culture but consuming a great deal of coffee, a near essential in many Christian gatherings in America, was not.
Our Christian views about right and wrong cannot help but be influenced by the many aspects of our cultural background. We all do it, whether we are aware or not. We bring our human cultural blindness as we judge righteousness concerning Christian walk and ways. Adolescents will always test limits and be attracted to what is forbidden, but that changes generationally and from culture to culture. It’s not about what is right or wrong, so much as it is about what is expected in that culture, the “norm.” Look at any culture and teens are drawn to whatever is forbidden by the adults. Interesting, isn’t it?
Many of us have battled out-of-balance desires for food, entertainment, the wonders of technology, shopping, sex, exercise, and even good works or ministry! Denying ourselves through “will worship” is hard to sustain. Whatever we are forbidding ourselves looms large in our minds, as we focus on not doing something. Turning our focus upon what God would have us do, trusting He will to change our desires into His, finding what His path of life is for each of us is essential.
There are many activities of the flesh that Christians reject, yet overindulging in food or enjoyable pastimes is seemingly acceptable. Some behaviors are not God’s best and we all know it, but we allow it in the camp. Of course, our heavenly Father wants us to enjoy the good things He has provided, to truly “enjoy our allotment.” His provision for His children is lavish, with many good things available to those of us in the Western modern world. And yet, out of balance, they are harmful and damaging.
“All things in moderation,” in balance, is an important holy spirit directive He works in our hearts.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things, there is no law.” Galatians 5:23 Berean
Though it is called self-control in most translations, we really cannot rely on the self to be obedient. When we hear that we are to “die to the flesh”, many of us try to do it ourselves. This proves ineffective! Beating on our flesh, developing rules and regulations to change outward behavior, following programs and courses, all the while berating ourselves for failing at what we most sincerely desire to change—all prove futile.
This keeps our eyes on ourselves rather than the Lord working His way within us. We find that the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak, unable to please God:
“The mind of the flesh is death, but the mind of the Spirit is life and peace because the mind of the flesh is hostile to God: it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so.
Those controlled by the flesh cannot please God.” Romans 8:6-8 Berean
Obedience to the laws of God is good, but, as Paul said, the spiritual commandments are to lead us into Christ. God is so clear about the futility of changing the flesh, but humanity keeps trying! Most of us have books, programs, leaders and resources along with laws that considered essential to control human flesh. Billions are made on ways to change any areas in our lives that are unhealthy and out of balance.
But when we ask God what is the best way for us, He will show us. He made each of us and knows we do not all need the same things or have the same challenges. With God’s leadership, we gain wisdom to guide our ways. He knows how we will change, and what will most assist us to succeed. He wants us to understand the lessons He is providing through it. He will lead us to the answers, the “recipe” for us. Just like with our human children, our Father knows our frame and that we don’t all need the same approach.
Unless He writes the truth of these changes in our hearts, however, we struggle again and again with the same issues common to man, often still in God’s waiting room. Ultimately we need an inworking to sustain change, not an outer list of do’s and don’ts. Oh, it is good to determine to do our best, to practice changes, and to consider ways to be more pleasing to the Lord. But there are also those things that will not change unless God changes them in us. It is the way we were formed, birthed into a family, with generational issues and concerns.
The holy spirit writes on our hearts, developing self-control, particularly at times when we do not want to wait. There’s a space between when we hear the answer to “Wait” and what unfolds for us. That’s the hardest place to be, this place of transition. The new is in sight, but the old is still with us. These times surely work very important truths into our hearts.
God sees the difference in our hearts when we want to obey but have a hard time doing it and those times when we are outright rebelling against His will. He knows our struggles and the intent of our hearts. Like any good parent, Father God will deal wisely and differently with each of us as He knows what lies within. Paul speaks to both the Corinthians and Philippians about this:
“All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.” 1 Corinthians 6:12 KJV
“Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.” Philippians 4:5 KJV
In the passage from Corinthians, Paul provides a way for us to realize when we are no longer in moderation, in the balance that God reveals for His best life for us. Anything that has power over us indicates that desire is in control, not God’s holy spirit. This imbalance becomes obvious when we really do not want to do something yet find ourselves doing it, over and over, just like Paul in Romans:
“We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do. But what I hate, I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I admit that the law is good. In that case, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh; for I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do. Instead, I keep on doing the evil I do not want to do. And if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.” Romans 7:14-20 Berean
What we resist does grow and the desires for what we want increase in response to feeling deprived of it. It seems to become even more attractive to us when God, society, parents ,or any other person in authority tells us it is forbidden. It is so very easy to do this with good things that are not seen as sinful and easily available to us though not profitable for spiritual growth or physical and mental health. We have the need for God’s spirit to fill up that space in our hearts that such seemingly good activities have taken over. Waiting on God may increase our self-indulgence in other areas that are less than God’s best for us.
Trying to control ourselves without the Holy Spirit leads to overcorrection, condemnation, frustration and failure. The root of any behavior that becomes compulsive or addictive reveals a need or lack that has not been achievable for the person. It often is the desire to numb the pain of this life, including trauma and abuse. Everyone wants to feel good and most of us will seek out whatever helps us with that, often to our detriment. That’s why we can compassionately love another who is under the control of a substance or behavior rather than the holy spirit.
Regardless, all of it shows a need for God in our hearts. The time of transition from hearing God’s “Wait” until His plan is revealed and our answers come is a test. When He asks us to wait, He will teach us how to do it. Our trust in His answers as the best for us grows at these times like no other in our lives. God desires freedom for His own and does not want any power except the holy spirit ruling us and our choices. He knows when our hearts have conceived a desire that He’s said to wait for and how that grows into choices and behaviors.
“When tempted, no one should say, ‘God is tempting me.’ For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when by his own evil desires he is lured away and enticed.
Then after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” James 1:13-14 Berean
God knows that the problem of sin is in our hearts, where it gives birth to behaviors that do not bring life but death to us. He looks past the behavior to see what is in our hearts about it, dealing with each of us accordingly. He is not gong to settle with just outward behavior that looks obedient. That is mere compliance, often out of fear, rather than desire for obdedient change. Jesus Christ brought His Father’s new order of the heart, moving us beyond outward behaviors displayed by our choices in life. He sees and provides help and healing in regard to our intent and our purpose.
Many out-of-balance behaviors are understood as ways we are trying to fix a problem, to feel better, and to make our lives easier. God understands the root of our struggles, deep in our hearts, and has mercy upon us. Aren’t you glad that He recognizes when we really want to do His will but are struggling with our flesh? He is also no stranger to those of us who are strong-willed, and determined to get what we want without waiting or obeying. One way or another, when we walk with Our God, loving Him but missing the mark, we learn these lessons from Him.
The fruit of the spirit, self-control, is also called “temperance,” coming from a Greek root meaning “strong in a thing.” This is a spiritual “muscle” that can be strengthened over time as God works within to build the character of Christ. We learn to deny ourselves and take up our cross in the little and the big things. We do not have to try to control something, or set laws and limits for our flesh unless we are out of control in that issue. What we need is a heart change, yielding to a Higher Power, like those in Alcoholics Anonymous do. It surely is something we can support others about as they walk through very hard times.
It may seem like God is doing nothing while we are waiting, but He is working out things for our good. Waiting on God for direction, to show us His “path of Life” changes the desires of our heart to the desires of His heart as we yield to Him. He is making changes inside, in our character, as well as changes in our circumstances according to His plans. God’s answer is always on time but not our time. As one song line says, “God's been IN time, ON time, EVERY time for me.” (Belinda Lee Smith). It’s a most inspiring song, reminding us of all the times He has come to the rescue of those who love Him.
We are also told to “forget not all His benefits.'' When we must wait, a wonderfully blessed way to encourage ourselves and others is to count our blessings with a thankful heart. We delight in all His past goodness to us, the answers and ways of escape, often by the spirit, when we need it. We recall His words of promise, His character of mercy and justice, and learn to trust while in His waiting room. We thank Him for the answers we do not yet see, and we learn to accept His timing rather than ours, delighting in our Father God and His wonderful Son, our Lord Jesus Christ.
God will not be rushed and it does seem that He likes to show up at the last moment when we think it is all over! Abraham and Sarah were in their 90’s, with Sarah past childbearing. Then God shows up to give them Isaac, the promised seed! God is showing forth that it is He, not people, Who is in control. The majesty and glory is His and our hearts humbly bow in obedience to Him. We can wait with frustration, resentment, and bitterness or we can wait with faith, gratitude, and patience. Either way, God is the same and cannot be manipulated.
“No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields a harvest of righteousness and peace to those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:11 Berean
Notice the qualifier at the end of this scripture: we can go through trials and not learn from them. Wait, what?! Is this perhaps why we seem to go through the same things over and over? Most of us would prefer to pass our test and move on to the next trial. The key in this passage is allowing God to train us in times of discipline when we are waiting on God. All Christians have things big and small we are waiting on God to address and correct, looking for the time in God’s plan when His promises to us and all creation will happen.
When the discipline is to wait, it is painful but He is teaching us through it all when we are willing to learn. The requirement is to pass the trials and tests in this situation, learning the lessons He is providing so we can harvest righteousness and peace within. Thisis why God leaves us in difficult circumstances for a period of time, rather than immediately delivering us. We think He is not hearing or caring about the situation when He is strengthening us through it. It is somewhat disappointing to realize that the very thing we battle, that we may fear, comes upon us to strengthen our character!
God always cares more about the inner man of the spirit than our outer circumstances. This inner change lasts while a change in circumstances, including getting what we want immediately, does not. We can pout, ,even trying to plead and manipulate our Lord to get our way, but He is one Father who can’t be manipulated! He will do what He will do, bringing redemptive justice and compassionate mercy in every situation. It is Who He is and as we see with Job, He does not always choose to explain Himself to man. He is God and we are not.
Eventually, He will release us from waiting upon Him, and the answers will come. We may have a long period of waiting while He is arranging things perfectly on our behalf. We may not see what He is doing or the answers that are coming, but they are on the way. And when the answers are revealed, we usually can see why His plan was the better one. There are certain things in my life that I thought I wanted or needed right now, but hindsight brings gratitude that God did things in His time.
Sometimes God grants insight into what He is doing and sometimes we are in the dark until the answer is revealed. We may need to be reminded, as Peter tells us, that with the Lord a day is as a thousand years.
“But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.” 2 Peter 3:8 KJV
He’s in eternity and we are in time, creating a vast difference in perspective! But what He does provide or accomplish after we wait for it is so much better than we could ask or think! God’s ways are eternal, in no way limited by time.
“I Have a Better Idea!”
“I have a better idea” is another answer we may hear from God. There are countless times when God will take our plans, the desires of our hearts, to refine them into something so much better. In this process, we experience doors being closed that we thought were open to us. It should not surprise us, however, to have Him provide an alternate plan that is so much better than anything we could have imagined. Eventually, we see the new door that is open to us and are able to agree that His plan is better than ours, by far!
In God, endings are new beginnings, just like death led to resurrection for our Lord. The law ended by being fulfilled in Jesus Christ. God is a master at showing us “Do this, not that,” by the spirit. When He is leading, when it is His plan that He has put in our hearts, we will have trials but we will succeed. The storms will come, but we will survive through Him. God takes us through life’s storms much more often than taking His people out of them.
More than once, His alterations in our plans are a complete surprise to us, including the specific way our calling in Him continues to unfold. As with Gideon, God is able to assure us of success because He is our help, as the prophet Isaiah says:
“Because the Lord God helps me, I have not been disgraced; therefore I have set my face like flint, and I know that I will not be put to shame. The One who vindicates me is near.
‘Who will dare to contend with me? Let us confront each other! Who has a case against me? Let him approach me! Surely the Lord God helps me. Who is there to condemn me?” Isaiah 50:7-9 Berean
Even more challenging are times of testing where the heavens seem like brass and all our prayers bounce off the ceiling of our understanding. We need reminding that all of God’s responses to us are always for our good because that is His nature. He is there, loving us, even through those silent times when He seems far away. These, too, are part of His plan. But it can be devastating to think or feel that He is no longer there for us. Someone described these times as God going a little further ahead of us, waiting. Whatever the reason, there is that gap of time between when He tells us His plans and when they happen.
Think of Abraham and Sarah waiting all those years for a child, only to have Isaac promised when Sarah was long past childbearing years. Think of Joseph, who suffered much before he was put in a position of rulership that allowed him to feed his brothers who had betrayed him, along with others suffering during the years of famine. Consider the wait King David had from the time that he was anointed King to when he actually began to rule. God had a path of life, a period of training through adversity before He finally gave him the promised rulership of the people. We can be sure he was a much better ruler after all he experienced!
Another biblical example is both Hannah and Rachel, beloved wives serving the Lord, married to men of promise, both waiting years before they were blessed by God with children. Consider this beloved verse from Romans:
“And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose.” Romans 8:28 Amplified
We remind ourselves, if not God, of this promise when difficult times fall upon us, when adversity prevents our progress or when unexpected loss occurs. Is God true to His word, this word that all things work for good—or not? Do we love the Lord? Are we called unto His purpose, this purposeful path in our lives? Is He still working on our behalf despite what it looks like to us in the present to?
Victories did not come easily in biblical times and they don’t often seem to now. When God feels far away, it does not matter whether we hear or feel Him. What does matter is His Word. We recognize that our feelings are not consistent with God’s word. We remind ourselves of Who He is and what He has said. This challenges the lies seeping in our hearts that feel like abandonment, rejection or loss of His love. We learn to settle in our hearts that He is Who He says He is, merciful, loving, and just. We stay committed, regardless.
He is God and we are not. His promises are true, no matter our present circumstances or lack of understanding of His ways. Our thoughts are below His and our understandings are limited as humans. At these times we go back again and again to His words of promise and hope, strengthening our faith in such difficult times in our spiritual walk. It is the most delightful experience to feel God’s presence within us and around us, but we do not need to depend on that feeling. Faith is not dependent upon our fluctuating feelings, aren’t you glad?!
He promises never to leave or forsake us. Period. That word is certain and eternal:
“God is our refuge and strength [mighty and impenetrable], a very present and well-proved help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains be shaken and slip into the heart of the seas, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its roaring. Selah.” Psalms 46:1-3 Amplified
Selah. Pause and weigh this. Whatever happens, His faithfulness endures forever. When everything is shaking, He is the same. The Lord takes us through adversity so that we learn more of His eternal faithfulness and mercy. His promises of love comfort us in our dark times. He will be our light, able to dispel any darkness with His very presence:
“Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the LORD shall be a light unto me.” Micah 7:8 NASB
This scripture challenges any habit we may fall into of railing against the darkness. When we indulge in this unproductive behavior, our focus is on the darkness rather than His light. This is like some Christians constantly battling the devil in their daily lives. They risk focusing on the enemy or the battle rather than on the Lord. We do not have to pretend there is no darkness or devil, but we are not to dwell upon it.
We are to keep our eyes on Him and what He is working out in this better plan He has for us. His light swallows up our darkness, causing it to disappear. When God writes on our hearts as we keep our eyes, our gaze on Him, things begin to change. We have faith and trust as we look for this new idea, the new thing God is about that is different from what we thought or planned. The Lord is our light, and there is no darkness in Him.
There’s a short chorus that became the first song God gave me, years ago, and is still a comfort to me. At the time, I didn't even know that God being in the darkness was in the Bible, yet the truth of it still rings in my spirit.
When I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.
When I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.
There will be no sorrow or mourning in the night.
The Lord is IN the darkness, He will be my light.
(B. Mikelson, 1977)
If we are truly growing in the Lord, the desires of our hearts very much change from our beginning walk with Him. A child desires childish things, understandable, even appropriate for that child’s age and development. As that child grows, those desires mature, becoming less selfish pursuits. Just so, the beginning desires of our hearts, often for external things to meet our own wants and needs or take care of concerns for those close to us, lessen over time.
We then become able to recognize and trust this scripture operating in our hearts:
“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided to you.” Matthew 6:33 NASB
When we get our priorities straight, putting the Lord first, He provides all that we need. We need to be in the spirit and know the truth as we worship our Lord. He is spirit and truth. We are learning to trust that God is in charge of the desires of our hearts. We can anticipate many changes in these desires of our hearts as our walk with the Lord continues. As we age, many things we thought were so important in our youth just don’t matter any more.
In the light of His glory and grace, we learn true submission, with deep gratitude to our God who does all things well. We grow in our ability to rejoice through our ongoing lessons in God’s spiritual school. We learn that His thoughts and ways, His “better idea” is always better than ours. His ways are higher—of a higher purpose—than ours. Early desires fade away, particularly for possessions, opportunities, or experiences that others have or enjoy.
God works such a change in our hearts that many things are no longer important to us. We prioritize His peace and rest in His kingdom above all. We are learning what Paul taught Timothy:
““If anyone teaches otherwise and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, they are conceited and understand nothing.
They have an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions and constant friction between people of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain.
But godliness with contentment is great gain.” 1 Timothy 6:3-6 NIV
Both the King James’ use of “gain” and the Concordant literal translation of “capitol” mean the same thing: it’s a corrupt and decadent mind that tries to say that the obtaining of wealth or possessions is a sign of godliness. Money gets you things; capitol is used in exchange for possessions and privileges in society. Paul is adamant that Timothy is not to listen to this as God’s message. He redirects Timothing to the truth that godliness, along with contentment with what we have, gives the best exchange, “purchases” the most in this life.
Anyone who tries to teach that having worldly goods is a sign of godliness is missing the mark. Did Jesus call many rich men to come follow Him? Has God not much more often chosen the meek and lowly, just as Jesus was on this earth, to do His will? God may choose to bless some with wealth according to His purposes, but you can purchase neither godliness nor contentment with it. If that were true, the wealthiest in the world would display more righteousness and contentment than anyone else.
Many of us grew up believing that when we had certain possessions, experiences, or privileges, then we would be happy. Instead, we realise that when we have or achieve that thing, the temptation is to want more. Far too often, great wealth does not seem to bring great happiness, but a restlessness and lack of contentment. Where do you go for satisfaction when you’ve achieved those things you thought you needed to be happy? What else drives you, cause syou to yearn to achieve, after you have it all, according to the world?
There typically remains a desire to do more, have more, experience more. This drive may have gained worldly success but righteousness in the heart? Not so—unless that heart is yielded to God such that spiritual things are the highest desires. When we learn to be content with our lives, living and serving the Lord with gladness, our own heart’s desires fade over time. We are brought into the rest of God because He knows all about everything we truly need:
“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.
Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls.
For My yoke is easy, and My load is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 NASB
This scripture can be hard to believe and hard to accept in the midst of heavy trials and struggles. There are certainly times when the Lord’s yoke does not seem easy or the burdens He allows light! There are keys to its truth, however, as this word works in our lives. Note that He first says to come to Him. Often we find our burdens heavy and difficult to bear because we are trying to carry burdens only He is equipped to carry. He teaches us how to turn them over to Him and leave them there. Then it is His burden to bear on our behalf.
Many burdens really are too much for us, weighing us down and bringing weariness to our souls. We also carry burdens for others that God did not give us to carry. Taking His yoke of discipline, submitting to His desires, becomes easier as we walk with God along our path to maturity. God shows us when we are holding on to burdens rather than passing them on to Him. And it’s one thing to give Him our burdens and quite another to learn to leave those burdens with Him!
We learn to come to Him more quickly when we begin to feel weary and heavy-laden. We more easily surrender burdens to Him, strengthening our ability to leave them there. As our trust is growing, our heavenly Father teaches us about His rest. He brings us into more times of “stopping,” the Concordant Literal’s translation of “rest” from the original Greek. He teaches us how to to handle and accomplish everything in His rest. He is so very faithful to teach us through the hard times of testing and challenge as well as the times of blessing and prosperity.
We are learning to submit all, a path of faith and training we continue on throughout our spiritual walk in this world. Then it is true that our burdens are easy and light, walking day by day with Him as He carries us through our hard times. Psalms 61 was created into a song, “Hear my cry, O Lord” by an unknown author. It is our prayer as we wait for His “better idea,” His plan of redemption of the whole earth, to unfold.
There is much that God has promised that we have yet to see. We cry out to Him when our earth is ending within us:
Hear my cry, O Lord, attend unto my prayer;
From the ends of the earth will I cry unto You.
When my heart is overwhelmed,
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I,
That is higher than I.
For You have been a shelter unto me
And a strong tower from the enemy.
When my heart is overwhelmed,
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I,
That is higher than I.
Psalms 61 (author of melody unknown)
It is always about what He is teaching us. It is all good because that is Who He is. If we always had light, we would not know about our Lord being in the darkness with us. Whatever His answers are to the desires in our hearts, He has us covered. There’s not one of us who escapes God’s dealings in the midst of His blessings. This shows we belong to Him. We learn the lessons through the path of processing that He plans for us.
Our hearts are eventually so changed that the peaceable fruit of righteousness becomes apparent through it all. May we encourage each other on the way!